Ok, to explain the context of this, my personality is divided into two people, literally, and they hate each other. Ted is probably best explained as that guy that would find imperfections in paradise, he's very critical and cynical of everything. The Q, on the other hand, doesn't give a shit about anything, except pleasing himself. These two smashed together forms me.
Here is what Ted Watson is thinking first thing in the morning:
Get OUT of bed!!! Fucking slacker, what the hell are you going to do with your life?
A. You are jobless. You got to love this unsure economic climate and a criminal record. If you are not working, you should be a student.
B. All you do is sit around and wank-off while watching mindless shit all day.
C. You worried about your love life? You have nothing to offer the opposite sex, so what's the point?
D. Your car is literally falling apart. How are you going to take care of this?
E. You say you are creative, but you haven't written so much as sentence (with the exceptions of texts, emails, and facebook statuses) in the last 15 days.
F. You missed the Lost premiere, goofus.
G. Goddammit, How long has it been since you last showered? or shaved? or anything Hygienic?
H. Remember, you are a diet. Try not to eat everything.
Here is what The Q is thinking:
Where am I? What's going on? Why is this guy yelling at me in alphabetical order? Dude, seriously it's 3:00am.
A is apple. Yum... An apple would be good right now. It would be a cure for this morning breath.
B is for boobs. I want to see some boobies today.
C is for cunt. Ted is a bloody cunt!
D is for doppelganger. Isn't it doppelganger week on facebook?
E is for easy. Where is her number, maybe I can get laid today.
F is for frown. Ted likes to frown.
G is for green. I really like that colour.
H is for high. Should I find some weed and get fucked up today?
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